Queen or Crypt Keeper for the Day?
When the VintageGent-ette was always mistaken for much younger than she actually was. Maybe it was the short stature, the fashion choices from the ankle down, or penchant for mid 60s lime green. At any rate, she rested on her laurels for quite sometime until reality caught up with her. At least someone else’s reality.
When she was 32, she won a facial. It made her feel like she was on that show “Queen for a Day.” The winning of the facial made her feel that way, but not the actual experience. The aesthetician, who was twelve years her junior decided to bring up the subject that women of “her age” should strongly consider anti-wrinkle treatment before it is “too late.”
Of course V-Gette was ranting and raving later on about who the aesthetician thought she was and old she mistook V-Gette for. After the whole incident, she felt a bit like Jamie Leigh Curtis in that mom-kid role reversal movie where she screams, “I’m the CRYPT KEEPER!”
All of the suds and bubbles that women subjected to themselves over the years to unwrinkle, wrinke, press, and rejuvenate have largely been a mystery to men outside of the proper industries. However, things have changed. First there was metrosexualizm. Then Axe came out with something that is NOT supposed to be a loofa but it is really a black shower pouf, but it is more manly because you call it some weird name like an energy ball or something else foolish.
Now, even wrinkle creams are being targetted as unisex. In fact, the Dermajuv Complete Rejuvenation System is in rather unisex cobolt blue bottles. You could go in the bathroom and not know if the stuff is for the lady or the gent.
In fact, right now, Dermajuv is issuing a bailout. If you use the promo code “bailout,” you will receive $5.00 off. So, if you are looking for the perfect gift for someone, you can be economical at the same time. You may, of course, end up holding your teeth in your hand if you decide to buy it for your main squeeze. It just may not send the message you had hoped for. Even if they hint at it jokingly, just don’t do it. Let them order it themselves.
I almost forgot. In some women’s magazines, they say if you want something, leave a catalog somewhere that a guy can find it like on the toilet, on the steering wheel of a car, or on the front door. Then use tape, bookmarks, and post it notes to indicate your interest in something. Naw, that is a little too obvious.
Since many of my readers believe in tried and true products just because they “don’t make em like they used to,” or because if it was tested on animals, it was done so fifty years ago, I did my own investigation. The company’s website did not indicate whether the products were animal friendly. I dialed up the company myself and asked that very question. The nice man that I spoke with assured me that the company does NOT test their products on animals. He was going to bring it to right department’s attention to consider labelling the product on the site as animal safe.
So, if you love animals and are the type of guy who wants to get out your old leisure suit and wants to look less like a creepy old man, you may just want to give it the old college try. What do you have to lose? You are already out there looking a little bit iffy now that the fifteen to twenty-one year old demographic is sporting them, but you may have a chance to blend in a bit more without any surgical alteration, or instantaneous creepy 70s moustache.
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