VintageGent’s Menswear Daily

I Know Why Hank Aaron’s Record Was Broken

I now know why Hank Aaron’s home record was eventually beaten. It is not because Hank Aaron isn’t one of the most amazing athletes of all time, and I might add, he and his wife are genuinely very nice people (I met them!).  It is not because of steroids nowadays. It is because there were baseball players like Dick Allen, pictured, and many others, whose ilk prevented hank Aaron from hitting 1,000 more homers because they were polluting his baseball experience with cigarette smoke. Sure, there were more baseball players back then who chewed tobacco or may have smoked in their private time, as not all folks were in tune to the dangers.

However, it seems to me that baseball players, in the arena of their athletic expression, where they needed to rely on the most lung power, were stifled by the presence of the dugout and field NOT being a “No Smoking” area. How insane is that? You may not have been aware of it as you only see highlight reels form then, nowadays, on ESPN classic. Also, usually pitchers didn’t have a smoke on the field because they needed their hands free to throw the ball. So no highlights with smoking in them. Just wait until the camera is off of them or they go to the dugout…the pitcher, catcher, and everyone else are foggy it up like chimneys.

So, dear Hank Aaron, we know if it wasn’t for your rude team mates, you would have hit so many home runs that no one would have beat your record until a special ball hitting superrobot came out of Japan (and only when they also invented the SuperRobot Pitcher to go along with it).

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