Browsergame-World has Farmerama which smells distinctly like a German-language Farmville, a mafia game and a roster of browser-based adventure games. Players can launch and play them in their browser with no downloads of the game required. Could this be a practical way of serving up language in digestible spoonfuls for reluctant students, just like slipping avocado puree into their chocolate pudding for fiber and vitamins? At least you’ll know how to converse if you meet a cow or ninja on your trip to Berlin.

-Lerner and Loewe, from the musical “Gigi”

The night we drank too much champagne
Was an embarrassing night indeed.
The spill stretched
from the sculpted green carpet to the Harris Tweed.
No woman or man or woman we ever met
Was as upset
Of ruining taffett(a) as the VintageGent and Gent-ette!

- V-Gette

Ah, yes…the holiday dinner party. This time of year, the party invites are too numerous to do more than “put in an appearance” at while the Champagne and wine hostess and host gifts insulate every cabinet, hope chest and ice box. Liquor is a traditional gift, and therefore a retro choice, but its time to update the etiquette book.

Tried and True Etiquette:

• As has been tradition, do not expect the bottle to be opened and served with the meal or during cocktail hour.
• If the host/hostess should offer you the unopened bottle to take home, insist that you intended it as a gift, but do not make a spectacle of yourself. The host/hostess may have assumed the bottle was for dinner. If they insist, graciously accept.
• Do not give guests free tickets to your sideshow. If the host/hostess offers alcoholic beverages, do not drink to the point of interesting propositions and colorful language. Rather, enjoy a glass properly balanced with food or follow with soft drinks.

Coffee or soft drinks is a safe second course.

The New Etiquette

• Observe the host/hostess. If they have never been observed nursing a glass of mashed grapes, they might not drink alcoholic beverages for medical or personal reasons. If they do not, rethink the gift.
• Offer to be a designated driver. Deliver revelers home, and swiftly return to the party.
• Choose theme wines and champagnes. A selection that has a connection creates conversation if the host is not a particular wine connoisseur. Choose a wine from a newcomer’s native state, or something with an unusual or clever name. While impressing someone with good taste is important, humor breaks the advice, so long as the name is not off-color. The point of a party is to converse, not to dazzle other guests with your snobbery.

Did I invite you over? Then I might interest you in my uncle’s special vintage, adorned with inkjet paper labels. I have no idea which variety I have, since water droplets splashed on it and ran the ink.  Guests will surely play “name that wine.” Bring your own and tear off the label. Should be fun. Cheers!

Dad, ever the astute observer always defends his position with: “There just are no Thanksgiving carols, are there?” maybe not when he was growing up, butt if you delve into the early days of rap and hip hop and transport yourself to 1979, there is ONE Thanksgiving carol, even though it is hidden within a 14 minute, 36 second long song.  Well, the Sugar Hill Gang probably didn’t intend it to be festive.

We used to trick dad into listening to the full version when we didn’t want to clean our rooms. “Dad, listen to JUST this one song. It’s really short.”

Have you ever went over a friends house to eat
and the food just ain’ no good?
I mean the macaroni’s soggy the peas are mushed
and the chicken tastes like wood.

So you try to play it off like you think you can
by sayin’ that you’re full,
and then your friend says momma he’s just being polite
he ain’t finished uh uh that’s bull.

So your heart starts pumpin’ and you think of a lie
and you say that you already ate
and your friend says man there’s plenty of food
so you pile some more on your plate.

While the stinky foods steamin’ your mind starts to dreamin’
of the moment that it’s time to leave
and then you look at your plate and your chickens slowly rottin’
into something that looks like cheese.

Oh, so you say that’s it i got to leave this place;
I dont care what these people think
I’m just sittin’ here makin’ myself nauseous
with this ugly food that stinks.

So you bust out the door while its still closed
still sick from the food you ate
and then you run to the store for quick relief
from a bottle of kaopectate.

And then you call your friend two weeks later
to see how he has been.
And he says i understand about the food
baby bubbah but we’re still friends.
With a hip hop the hippie to the hippie
the hip hip a hop a you dont stop the rockin
to the bang bang boogie
say up jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie the beat

May your Thanksgiving be full of cozy, Rockwell-inspired moments (Norman, not the “Somebody’s Watching Me” Rockwell and far more delectable food than what the Sugar Hill Gang was subjected to.

Guest post written by Janet Thomas

Thre are few occasions when it seems like I don’t really find an excuse to dress up. It’s so much fun and I’ve loved playing fashion and dress up since I was a littel kid. Well that’s definitely carried on into a lot of theme parties that I started having when I was in college and have just kind of continued over the years.

As you can probably guess, I really love following all of these costume period dramas and checkin gup on all hte different things that are going on with my new favorite show Boardwalk Empire with my wireless internet Chicago. It’s just so interesting to see and hear the things as they’re reimagined during that time.

I’m planning on throwing a Boardwalk Empire season premiere party. I think that it’s going to be so much fun and I already have a few great outfits from my Grandma that I’ve already picked out. Now finding vintage pieces from the 20s or that look like they belong in the 20s can be pretty tough, but that’s a challenge I love taking on.

The VintageGent-ette’s sister, the Modern Gentress, was almost beguiled by a young man offering her quotes of Rumi. Unlike V-Gette who has a deep appreciation for ancient and medieval lit, the Modern Gentress turned up the Modern nose. “That’s just a bunch of old crap.”  What does she want? A guy to lure her with something more modern? Someone the American Classics, as opposed to the Persian classics, like “Someone’s In the Kitchen with Dinah” just don’t set the mood.

A Gent named Jerry Forman was intrigued, unlike the MG, by Rumi, and the wandering dervish Yunus Emre.  I was previously familiar with Whirling Dervishes, but was completely ignorant of the existence of Wandering Dervishes. Did they represent different philosophies, or with all the whirling, did one have to mix it up and wander once in awhile.  That would make one more of a Stumbling Dervish, if my freshman acting method acting class is any sort of corollary (for the uninitiated, spin someone around 10 times before they play a scene about being confused and the true authentic emotion will come out for sure). I digress.

Getting back on track, Jerry Forman has a nifty site (http://www.RumiPoems.com) that he has been adding poems and lyrics to for folks’ enjoyment. what’s more, is Jerry has composed original music to accompany them (when you go to RumiPoems.com, there are links to “Lyrics,” which are just the printed words. Click on the title of the song/poem and a player opens up for you to listen to them.)  The first one, Spring, reminds me of the slow-paced ballads that mariachis would play, sans the horns and rumba shakers just a single guitar. But that’s just me. Whether you are a fan of Jerry’s styling and voice or not, it is ambitious and way more original than holding a boombox in the window and throwing rocks to get the objet d’affection’s attention.  So, up your game.

He does identify Rumi as a “secularist,” when in fact, you analyze his poetry, he was not nearly so at the time. He did seem to hold a philosophy of the evolution of ego, but his work heavily reflected some sensibilities in the Quran. In fact a branch of Sufism evolved in light of his work. Hardly a secularist and unspiritual, his work takes on more depth in the context and understanding of his belief in God. In fact, his lyrics and poetry has been read in places of worship from Buddhist monasteries to Christian churches. Not bad staying power for someone who penned the paper in the 1200’s, no?

Although I wasn’t alive for the prime years of Bob Dylan’s musical career, I’ve been a huge fan of his work since my late teen years. So you can imagine how stoked I was when I found out that not only was Dylan coming to a venue not 15 minutes from my home, but my girlfriend’s student discount would allow us to get the tickets for half price!

Now, I had seen Dylan a few years earlier during a tour he did with Willie Nelson, and I thought he had one of the best live rock and blues bands I’d ever seen. Of course, that didn’t stop people from complaining about his choice of songs, or his sometimes incomprehensible singing voice. For my part, I couldn’t understand how these people could come to a Dylan show expecting anything less. He’s sounded that way since the 1960s.

Personally, I had loved that show and couldn’t wait to see him again this time around. It was my girlfriend’s first Dylan show, so I shared my previous experience with her and prepared her for the concert to come, so she knew exactly what to expect the night of the show. We set our home security alarm from http://www.Securitychoice.com and headed to the concert. Luckily, Dylan did a set including some of his greatest hits and my girlfriend enjoyed every minute.

One of my absolutely favorite travel shows on TV is The Naked Archaeologist. Simcha Jacobovici is a photojournalist from Canada and he has a show in which he poses a Biblical question and then toes in search of the answer. I’ve only seen him fail to find a satisfactory answer perhaps twice. The man is hysterically funny, has an attitude problem I can appreciate, plus the resources to travel all over the Holy Land to find answers to questions everyone wants to know. It’s been two thousand years since that bit of history happened and many would love to know what it looked like, how life was lived and maybe what they ate or wore.

I can’t wait to watch his show on DirectTV HD Channels because he speaks to not only archaeologists but scientists, college professors, Biblical experts and researchers. Together, these people travel all over the Holy Land showing the viewing public what it felt like back then, whom the main characters were, what they did for a living and a hundred other fascinating facets. What has earned Mr. Jacobovici my undying respect is that the man isn’t a dry academic but an interested observer with a sense of humor and a twisted mind, in some respects. He isn’t partial to any one religion, but fairly and as completely as he is able to represents the truth as he digs it up. My favorite part is seeing where he travels and what the people are like or not like.

Yet another link the chain of “series that were really popular that starred Dirk Benedict that are even more popular now without a Dirk Benedict in sight” was forged in the fire with the world wide premiere (aka Open Beta) of the new Battlestar Galactica Online game  (Whew, now that was a run on!). Surely, it is not an actual a series but a spin off of a spin off, but it still counts. That being said, I promise not to say a thing about the worsted wool cape and the side-sling gun holster you are wearing over your pajamas when you play. That is, at least until it catches on, falls out of favor, and later becomes “ironic.” Up until then, I guess you are a trendsetting hipster or just weird. Although, if someone catches you in a cape, you can just say “it’s steampunk.”  Hopefully, the folks at Syfy network won’t sniff you out.

Guest post written by Kendra Newsome

I’ve never called myself a fan of science fiction. I haven’t even watched all of the Star Wars movies before! I think that I’m probably one of the very few Americans that can actually say that though. I thought that my boyfriend might break up with me when I told him that because he’s such a huge fan. Lucky for me, he dates me for my other merits. So when he told me that I needed to watch the TV show Doctor Who, I was reluctant. But he finally convinced me and now it’s one of my favorite shows.

I did some homework online with my ClearWirelessInternet on the show and after I read so many great reviews on it from websites that clearly weren’t just about sci-fi stuff, he talked me into watching it.

One of the reasons that I like it so much is that it’s funny and it seems like every single thing in history is connected to something that The Doctor did or helped prevent. To put it simply, I’m hoooked on the Doctor Who show and can’t wait for the new season to start.

Of course, except for the occasional upscale consignment slash vintage shop slash antique store in a highly commercial touristy formerly quaint village, the niche is absent from the airwaves.  It is daunting, I will admit, once you search talent and put some sort of script together. There are media production companies, such as Studio Center, that pull it all together for you. The field is wide-open being that no antique establishment or antique shop has really come up with a memorable ad campaign locally or otherwise.

Did you know that there is such thing as an “Anti-Announcer?” An “Anti-Announcer”-type sounds like a regular person rather than a Don Pardo/Ed McMahon/Don LaFontaine type. (You know the late Don LaFontaine for his dramatic move trailer work). Don’t confuse this with pulling your neighbor’s attractive granddaughter into the shop. What we may think of as a “normal/regular voice” doesn’t always translate the same on the reel.  We all have different speaking habits, some of which are unnoticeable to us in daily speech, but are glaring on play-back. A voice actor (or actress, though I consider “actor” unisex) classified as a “non announcer” is articulate, but doesn’t have the timber or formality of delivery as a traditional announcer.

So, take a plunge? Being “traditional” and “classic” doesn’t mean people shouldn’t know who you are.

Tasks might be something like taking a photo of a business front or stopping in. It might not be worth going out of your way, but if you plan to eat at that restaurant anyway, or are driving on that side of town, why not rack up a couple points? It might just end up covering part of your phone bill for the month or go towards your gas. You just might meet new people, as they inquire what the heck you are doing snapping a photo with your phone and wearing such fashionable duds.  Who knows…that could be enough for them to hand you a stack of 1930s fedoras or grant you an interview for your website.

Have you tried it? If you have, let me know what you think.

(By the way, you can’t swipe photo from the internet or take it with your regular camera because it KNOWS somehow that your phone took it because computers and phones and networking platforms talk to each other and secretly rat you out. Like Hal9000.)