VintageGent’s Menswear Daily

Happy Birthday, Chuck Norris

All of us at VintageGent’s Menswear Daily wish Mr. Texas Ranger the happiest of birthdays. Mr. Chuck Norris is 70 years old today, March 10th. However, his biceps are 55 years old and his Foot of Fury is 70 years and 9 months old (Of course, he was kicking way before he left the womb).  We are sorry, Feet, that we missed your official birthday.  We will be wishing his guns a Happy 70th in 15 years.  Until then, we cower under our 1950s Robsjohn Gibbings coffee table for fear of him wondering why this was not done earlier in the day.

In honor, here are a few gems from ChuckNorrisFacts.com:

Most Boots are Made for Walking. Chuck Norris’ aren’t that Merciful.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn’t even come close.

What Does a Seahawk Taste Like?

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Jones Soda. All opinions are 100% mine.

I have always liked Jones Soda for several reasons. The bottles give me that old fashioned feel and the flavors are innovative. There was old fashioned vanilla cream soda and a lot of funky fruit flavors. Sometimes, however, I worry about the folks at Jones, after the Tofurky and Gravy Thanksgiving offering.

Now, Jones has combined affinity products with original flavors to create the Seattle Seahawks soda. I am sure that no matter what it tastes like, fans will be stocking the shelves. Truth be told, I am sitting with my hands covering my eyes. Like a little kid, I am peeping out between my fingers as I am frightened but strangely intrigued by what the new beverages could taste like. I was very relieved to find that the flavors available were Cream Soda, Green Apple and Berry Lemonade. What a relief.  I was figuring it would be Locker Room Luau, Pigskin, Beer, and Ben Gay (or Icy Hot).

The Limited Edition-ness of the soda extends to the packaging and labeling. They come in special commemorative four packs featuring intriguing art work. Now, you can drink it all, or you can hide it away just in case it is going to be worth big bucks some day. You just never know. My brother may still have a bunch of Arizone Iced Tea and Absolute bottles that he is saving for posterity from a number of years ago. Why not add more breakables to the back of the closet? Mom was plenty happy one night when she heard a thundering crash after he moved out.

The four packs are available for a very limited time on the Jones websites.  If you are a fan of exotic non alcoholic libations or are a football fan, buy them now before they disappear. Then get another one for your great-great grandchildren.

When it Comes to Internet Search, I am so 1995

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of LeapFish Inc. All opinions are 100% mine.

Everyone is so impatient. They just want things now, now now. I was so happy five years ago when I put up a website, and in a month or two, I could find it in the search engines. Now, I find that I have to keep myself from blowing a gasket if I can’t immediately search for what I just wrote. What is becoming of me? I need to rewind myself by a couple years.

Google now has a function that allows you to search in “real time.” You can get the latest information on just about everything. If I could go back in time, the “me” from five years ago would have probably had major culture shock

If you thought the little music box ballerina music was so “now,” Leapfish also offers us a glimpse into live search, incorporating social media. Make a note about what happens at approximately 1:48 into the video. There will be a discussion about that, later.

I am not sure if it is the production values alone, but to me, the Google product seems to poke along compared to the leapfish way of searching. Some bits of it scare me. For my borderline ADD brain, I think with access to so many videos, tweets, and websites at once, I will never get anything done. It will suck the marrow out of any remaining productivity I have.  Remember I mentioned to pay attention to what happens at the 1:48 mark?  I saw a video for California Toast.  What is California Toast? It appears to be a strawberry and Aunt Jemima based product, but are those shards of bananas or shards of bread in there?  There’s my point right there.

In the case of Google, it appears that the page is arranged in a safe and familiar way, that it won’t scare me too horribly.  I will be able to dink around while still grabbing my security blanket of a nice, linear search that acts as a lighthouse in the sea of my bobbing, drifting mind.  Besides, I am entertained by the phony Google pages and the Google Doodles,where the Google logo changes to commemorate a holiday, or whatever they need me to know about, such as to be very aware of meatball eating spaghetti monsters.

Leapfish does use Google for some searches, as you can view what Google, Bing, and Yahoo all have to say about your chosen topic.   It lets you customize your own search page, however, and allows you to press a button to get real time search.  For me, it might be a little TOO real, because I searched a second ago, and then came back and edited this post to say that I could already find what I just said in search.  I better be careful about what I say!

Pump Up The Bass…On Your Phone

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Yamaha. All opinions are 100% mine.

Warning: I am completed dating myself by the following statement. No, I am not involved in the courtship of the image in the mirror, but the other Webster’s Dictionary definition of the term. When I was about twelve, my Walkman and I were inseparable. It did not tag along in my book bag, but was pulled out of a drawer every night when I was trying to study or read a book. I wasn’t too interested in letting other people in on what I was listening to. Somewhere in my teen years, all I wanted was a boom box for my birthday. For some reason, I had a brief streak of extrovertedness, but while the boom box blasted, the Walkman sat. It was scientifically impossible to use both at once, unless you wore the headphones to the Walkman and blasted the boom box load enough to hear both.

Luckily, modern technology has solved that historical dilemma with the Yamaha PDX-60 speaker dock. I first became acquainted with Yamaha when my cousin bought Yamaha keyboard and equipment.  It was definitely a step up from my 12″ long Casio with the preprogrammed rhumba drum beat.  Oh no.  I am dating myself again.   Ahem. Any way, you can be all fine and happy with your iPod, but then you can go home and plop it in there, and enjoy being surrounded by your tunes. That may be nothing really earthshattering, but you can also use the docking station with your iPhone.  Now, that’s new!

There are so many features and so much media on our cell phones these days that many people consolidate and substitute a high tech phone for an MP3 player and a more pedestrian cell phone.  Do you remember the day planners with the big velcro strips to hold your PDA?  Well, the PDA bigger than your foot has also been absorbed into the phone.   Sometimes the owners of the phones that do everything but your laundry did not consciously consolidate and eliminate all of these devices, but are experiencing MP3, camera and PDA elements for the first time with the features of their iPhone.   The speaker dock serves that market well also.

Do you think phones do a little too much these days? Well, what’s one more thing?  I am surprised there isn’t a docking station yet to project the contents of your phone on your television, though I am sure Yamaha is working on it.  The speakers do have a rich bass sound, so maybe your old boom box won’t beat up your phone at night anymore for being a lightweight.

Ten Shirts I Love About You

I may be a bit behind the viral curve, as this video was released several months ago, but I keep coming back to it.  In August, actress Julia Stiles presented her new ecofriendly line on “Green Mind.”  The cutting edge fashion features a newspaper suit, a pants/shirt combo and a shirt made out of ten.  This is one of the most brilliant spoofs (or is it? lol ) I have seen in quite awhile.  Part of it has to do with the way that Stiles, the host, and models “sell it.”  They are dead serious here.

Ecofriendly fashion is very popular these days.   Sometimes it works with recycling existing clothing, and sometimes the focus is on the materials.  For myself, I am all for using cotton that has been grown without chemicals and finding new ways to use and process fabric.  This may include industrial recycled elements in accessories and soles.  What I hesitate about is recycled fashion.  Instead of using clothing that can no longer exist in its current form because of damage, there are individuals who tear apart suits from the 40s, and for the ladies, ballgowns.   Some of these items can be scarce, depending on the quality and maker, and it would make any vintage collector cry to see.   What is your opinion?  It seems that eco fashion is so revered that no one can make fun of it…until now.

You can purchase Julia’s Styles at http://juliastilesstyles.com/The_Outfits.html.  It appears that they are sold out, but you are asked to donate to the Lunchbox Fund, a great organization that provides school lunches to impoverished children.  It may be their only meal of the day.  Consider skipping the Starbucks and donating your $3-7 to buy a great kid lunch.

Opening Night for Banana Shpeel

Banana Shpeel, the new show from Cirque du Soleil is opening on Thursday in Chicago.  There are a couple of tickets still available for opening night, according to ticket master, but not a large amount.  Cirque tickets have historically been in the $50-75 range.  However, if you are flexible on date, I did find $35.00 tickets, which would make it more affordable for a family to go.

It is a complete departure from Cirque du Soleil’s typical fare in that the show is 100% devoted to slapstick comedy. Previous shows have included interludes and interruptions of comic relief, but the over all, the theme has been perceived as moodier or more dramatic.  The new show is a tribute to vaudeville and broad humor.  The show follows Emmett, a hopeful actor being encouraged for ill or for gain by the irritable producer, Shmelky.  Emmett falls in love with the beautiful Katie, and encounters all sorts of strange characters, such as the mysterious Banana Man.

Slapstick seems to be a universal mode of comedy, where people around the world can all understand. They seldom need to understand the social context. Returning to the basics could be the sign of times, when people are looking for something proven, familiar and comfortable, versus looking for entertainment that pushes the envelope or reminds folks of gloom and doom.

In the past, I flew to Chicago and took in as many shows as I could while I was there.  I purchased tickets ahead of time for the newest show, or the one I was most interested in seeing.  Then, I purchased tickets to local troupes while I was there.  If the spectacle of past shows is any indication, this should be your anchor show.

A Whole New Cirque

I saw a clip about the new Cirque de Soleil show, Banana Shpeel, and was a little surprised. It is a tribute to vaudeville and features broad physical comedy and music. I’m kidding you, right? Cirque de Soleil is supposed to be about moody music with French lyrics, heavily and stylistically made up acrobats and dancers, and high ticket prices, right? The makeup is still there, and I can’t do anything about the ticket prices, but the rest of it…au contraire.  Jo-Ann Munro (Cocreative Director – Communication) takes us behind the scenes of the new production.  The show opens in Chicago next month and in February in New York.

A dramatic genre switch is always a risk.  It can alienate the fan base, it can be a simple add on for the fan that has seen everything, or it can breathe new life into an old formula.   It is too early to tell what Banana Shpeel will do for the troupe.   Despite the bells and whistles of lighting and computerized elements to drive the show, a vaudeville theme is a low tech antidote to shows that not only incorporate a multimedia approach, but are actually about technology.

While I am sure that the average theater goer will find nostalgia in the idea, I wonder if it will capture younger audiences.  On the one hand, there is a timelessness to some forms of Vaudeville comedy.  The style of the Marx Brothers is more akin to the humor versus the situational comedies of today.  It has proven time after time that you can dust off old tapes or reels of the Marx Brothers, Keystone Cops, or the Three Stooges and they will still generate some laughs.  It is not the same with the more topical humor of today. On the other hand, will the clowns and the tap dancing deter newcomers, thinking that it might be a little too old fashioned? Let’s wait and see.

Have you purchased tickets for the Chicago show?  If so, how did you hear about it, and what are your thoughts?  Did you purchase tickets based on your prior attendences at Cirque de Soleil shows or is this your first time?

Party Like a Rockstar…Or a Wannabe

There are many reality shows that are basically an exercise in rubber necking. You can’t look away from the train wreck. One of the most cloying tactics is when producers try to set up situations to get the participants drunk or in the hot tub. The participants go along with it thinking perhaps that they will be talked about and famous. I remember even on Hell’s Kitchen, there was an awkward hot tub moment last season. I am sure the folks competing go back to the hotel and unwind in the pool, but it appeared to be a set up to see what would happen between two characters with some chemistry, or at least a gal who was trying to befriend the guy’s team. Nothing happened.

There are no strained set ups in truTV’s Rehab, which airs on Tuesday nights. Rather than being a reality show with a staged concept, the party is real and the footage is real. It’s not reality tv, its actuality tv. We are just flies on the wall. The party takes place at the Hard Rock Hotel, and you will meet high rolling guests, and a staff who tries their best to keep things down to a dull roar. Okay, they don’t keep things down to a dull roar but prevent things from going to heck in a hand basket. Most of the folks there would be at the Hard Rock Hotel anyway, rather than having been auditioned.

The whole show makes me want to reach into the screen and slap someone. I want to shower them with etiquette books, and then send everyone back to their rooms. Then I said to myself, “Why the heck am I watching this?” They say at truTV that the effect is “actual,” that I am supposed to have a reaction, and I do! That is called truth in advertising right there.  Darn it, they got me again!

Beatles “Come Together” with CGI Beards

I was just simply fascinated by the new Beatles Rock Band video game commercial. Clips of the Fab Four from the Let it Be sessions were spliced in seamlessly with new footage of modern day extras. Of course, in “Let it Be,” John and George were beardless. They used the magic of CGI to add beards so they matched the look of the Abbey Road time frame, in order to use the iconic street crossing scene in the same ad and making it seem like it was happening just a moment or two before.  There were some folks on the internet that believed that an actor stood in to play John, but that is most definitely him.  It may be because they are used to seeing that clip of him smiling from “Let it Be” and with the beard it doesn’t look quite right to them.

I would love to see a “makings of” video. If anyone has something to that order, please leave a comment so I can check it out.

There were a few commercials in the past that have used old footage. There was a commercial that I can’t seem to find that had Humphrey Bogart in a bar. This earlier Coors commercial features John Wayne. There is a big difference in the quality of the execution. Wayne doesn’t have as much contact with the other actors, and it is hard to tell with the poor video quality, but the quality of the film Wayne is on does not appear to be the same as the rest of the scene. (By the way, Wayne appears at about :34 seconds into the clip.)

Missed Your Show? No Problem

Back in the day, there used to be such a thing as “appointment viewing.” A good show was on at a particular time and you scheduled your life around it. Inconvenient? Well, it wasn’t then. People watched Ed Sullivan or any other given show and it became a cultural event. Strangers had something in common to talk about. Now, with the hundreds and even thousands of stations on free television, pay cable, and satellite, there isn’t the same type of collective viewing experience. There is so much on that you can’t possibly watch it all.  Stations obliged by rerunning the same show several times a week. What if you can’t even catch it then?

There are several websites where you can watch shows online. However, you usually have to bop around quite a bit because the sites are scattered all over the internet. Some networks use some, some use others. One that sort of consolidates it all in one place. Spreety TV Online : Watch TV Shows Online Free. They don’t host all the videos of all the shows, but if they don’t, they have links to exactly where all the shows will be. It certainly saves a lot of time and you just might find something you didn’t know you needed to watch, but now absolutely have to put on your “must see” list.

How To Dress Like a Roughneck

For fall 2008, Style magazine and the eponymous website were singing the praises of “Labor Chic” for men. If you want to describe it in a sound bite, it is “Grunge: But Showered.” It had the plaid element and the work boot factor that the grunge movement of the very late 80s and the early 90s had, but with far less ennui and a bit of a better work ethic. In other words, you looked as if you were actually doing something. However, you didn’t have to break in a pair of denim for ten years; you could buy them sanded and painted to just the right level of fray.  He looks a bit like a roughneck, working the oil fields of Texas.  However, compared to the real ones, he looks like he is wearing a costume…a little too neat and tidy.  So, how can you determine if someone is just being fashionable, or is actually in the oil industry by profession?

According to this clip from Black Gold, exclusively on truTV, our buddy would need fewer layers due to the hot sun and the weather.  He would also need to dump a few cups of water on him to replicate sweat.  Of course, some salty language and a hot temper wouldn’t hurt him either if he wanted to be one of the truTV BLACK GOLD characters.  Of course, there are many roughnecks who are mild mannered and watch their language, but that would make an instructional video, not a reality show.

Black Gold does for roughnecks what Ice Truckers did for….well, Ice Truckers. The premiere episode ran last week with the second being featured tonight at 10:00 Eastern, 9:00 Central. I wonder if the guys on the show would care what Details magazine said that their attire was “in style.” Probably not. At any rate, the show not only runs on the pressure of a deadline, like Ice Road Truckers does, but on “personality” as well.  To me, it is much more interesting filming people doing something that they have done a good part of their life versus auditioning people from all over the country and stick them in a house. I’m going to tune in to truTV BLACK GOLD tonight, how about you?

They Mean What they Mean, No Mean Joe Green

In the past, I mentioned WaiverWire, the hub for your fantasy football league. I was just musing to myself the other day. Is that the correct usage of the vocabulary? Okay, I was musing. I wasn’t “musing to myself” because musing usually implies a private affair. I digress. Let’s get back on track.

Fantasy football is not truly fantasy. Yes, you can make your own team based on real players and their stats and challenge your friends or make it a test against your own instinct and wits.  However, if it was truly “Fantasy” football, I could pick whomever I wanted for my team. If I wanted Doug Flutie, I’d get him. Joe Namath and “Mean Joe” Green would be two other legitimate selections. Sorry, I can’t choose anyone I can think of from any era.   I could have Courtney Green or Justin Green, but no Mean Joes.

The main reason that you can’t use “anyone” has to do with not having real time stats. You can get all the stat reports at WaiverWire.com when you sign up as a member. Right now they are offering their basic plan, a Stimulus Package, free of charge, to get you in the game. I would argue that you could just use old seasons. Today, however, a different game is played. Guys just seem to be bigger these days, and they seem to be recruiting them younger and younger. (I know, I’ll pick “The Fridge.”)   The game has changed, in a way.  Also, if you could use former players, if you were quite the statistician in your head, you could cheat.  I guess the appeal is that it is a little bit of a gamble and a risk that you see pay off or tank, rather than a matter of fancy math.

Are you a fantasy league coach, or should I say team manager?  If so, how did you get into it?  Does it exercise your mind, or do you find it is an all encompassing hobby?

Instead of “Must See” Tv It’s “Did You See” Tv

I am looking forward to seeing the first episodes of Black Gold, but in my research, I have found out that there is such a thing as the the truTV effect. Instead of just sitting there and complacently having the television on in the background, the network is devoted to grabbing your attention with true life stores. I call it the phone call effect.  I have a brother who has to call you when something real cool just happened on television.  He has to describe the blow by blow, distracting you from actually turning it on and seeing it for yourself.  Once, I received a phone call at 3:00 A.M.  That is the time I would usually just get horrific news, especially since my brother lived 1200 miles away at the time.

To be honest, it WAS horrific news.  It didn’t involve a relative dying, but involved someone on television falling into a rapids, and then having to eat bugs to survive.  It probably could have waited, right?  But he’s THAT GUY, the guy that needs to share all the exciting details in the moment.  It was akin to the time he called me at 2:00 A.M. from a bar to let me know that “my” team won.  I really had to think for a minute about who was on the other end in my groggy state of affairs.  Now that we live close to each other, he gets in the car, bursts through the door and tells me to “hurry up and change the channel” as I might be missing the most “awesome thing” ever.

Of course, I am a bit impervious to such things. I will admit to being a jumper when it comes to a sudden and shocking crescendo in mood music, followed by a sudden lunge by some falling structure at the screen. You didn’t hear that from me, though.

I wonder what will happen once my brother sees Man vs Cartoon. It’s the show where they test things that happened on the Road Runner cartoons and others to see if they would really work. Grandpa, who is a big fan going back to the 1940s, probably can’t wait for the phone call urging him to turn it on.

“Oil That is, Black Gold, Texas Tea”

I am not much for reality shows because they are not really “reality” at all. The shows that rely on auditions as their format are more akin to variety shows or game shows. The type of shows that hole a mishmash of individuals in a house or on an island is not really “reality” but more of a pit match. Lately, there have been a few shows that actually are going to deliver on their promise, it seems, of portraying real life. Well, it is not really “real life” as in my life, because that would be boring. TV has been taking us on journeys that are far removed from our lives so that we can live vicariously in some way.

I have to admit that I do love some of the competition shows like the Amazing Race, American Idol, and Project Runway, but they feature people that are insanely talented and who you would probably never be like, or at least most of us won’t.  The exception is the Amazing Race, which featured regular, everyday people for the most part.

The latest is truTV’s Black Gold .  It may be the best thing to happen to Texas Tea since Jed Clampett was shooting at some food.  Just like The Deadliest Catch and Ice Road Truckers before it, it offers a look into actual lives and gives you an appreciation for some of the most difficult, dangerous, and dirtiest jobs on the planet.  I don’t know if reality shows started it, but the interest sure got a boost from the popularity of Mike Rowe’s show. Only this time, things are not so neighborly. In Black Gold, we follow the trials of folks working in the Texas oil fields. The challenge is that they must drill four holes in a 50 day period.

First, you will experience the rigors of on the job training.  Could this be the Gordon Ramsey of oil drilling?  If so, I am sure it is a guaranteed hit.  The exception, of course, is that a mistake could be the difference between life and death versus just a fallen souffle.

Of course, being under such duress, the creative language just flies.  Imagine if you could “tell it like it is” on your job? I will have to tune in to see what “dumb” thing was done.

The show premieres tonight, and new episodes appear Wednesdays at 10p/9c. There is more of truTV’s Black Gold trailer on Youtube if you want to check it out. So, will the show be so popular that the “Labor Chic” fashion statements of work boots and flannel will get a boost? I call it “clean grunge,” as it features similar footwear and patterns as in the early 90s, but plus showers. Or, perhaps five year olds across the nation will turn in their red firefighter’s hats and stethoscopes and decide they want to be Roughnecks when they grow up instead after watching this?  Naw, they are supposed to be in bed.  If they do, you know who was sneaking around the house well past their bedtime.

Enter to Win a Laptop Everyday

Even if I am a bit old fashioned, I still do something pretty new fashioned.  I blog.  Unfortunately, my journal doesn’t automatically transfer to the screen.  I wish it did. So, I come home and tap away on the keyboard.  Sometimes I wish I had a laptop, so I could just sit down and pound the keys whenever inspiration strikes.  Right now, it is not in the cards.  Maybe if I win the Laptop-a-Day Sweepstakes at Charter.net, my luck will change. Of course, I would actually have to enter to win, now wouldn’t I?

The contest runs through September 15, and it would be foolish to procrastinate, wouldn’t it?  The conclusion is a long time off, but since you can enter more than once, it makes sense to do it right this second. And in another second on a different day. You don’t need to sign up for service right now to enter, but you do have to be in Charter’s service area. I was surprised when I typed in my zip and address that I was eligible. See, that means I am destined to win, right?  Luckily, you and I can both win, as they pick a new winner every day, so I won’t be greedy.  There are other prizes, such as $25-100 gift cards, too.

Charter.net has given away hybrid cars and gaming systems before, you never know what will be next.  You can be a fan of Charter on Facebook to stay closer in the loop. What self respecting technology oriented company wouldn’t be on Twitter? You can follow Charter on Twitter, too.

By the way, just because this is a “Back2School” promotion does not mean that you can sign up your preschooler to get a better chance.  The winner must be 18 years or older at the time of the contest.  So, mom and dad, you have to be the ones to enter.  You can let your child use it, though I am sure once you get it, you’ll want it all to yourself.  Of course, it is ladylike and gentlemanly to share.  However, they should go outside and play, anyhow, right?